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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Not-Quite-Naptime Project: Or, How To Ruin Your Tuesday.

So last week I tweeted a bunch about destroying a random wall in my house. You'd think with plaster walls that this is a common occurance (and for a while was), but the issue was that I did it in the kitchen, which as a MUCH more recent addition, has drywall.

Remember this picture?
You see where that big nautical barn star is (which I painted myself, thankyouverymuch) and how that's just kind of, well, wasted wall space? Well, I had a plan for it, a simple plan really, that ended in TRAGEDY.

A long time ago on my very first EVER trip to IKEA, I bought a Lack shelf. It was a seasonal color -- deep eggplant purple and I feel in lurve with it. (Yes, I have a matching table, but it's seen better days.) I had it up at my mom's place forever, and when we moved to the house I decided to bring it with because I could probably find a use for it. I mean, who doesn't need an extra shelf at some point?

Anyway, so after a while of being the house and getting the Hubs addicted to coffee, our collection of coffee mugs is starting to get out of control ... and with the addition of baby-feeding paraphanelia to the cabinets, things were getting not-so-spacious. Lightbulb! I can use my trusty Lack shelf!

One problem. I lost the hardware. Which is like certain death to a simple piece of furniture.

However, I refused to give up. I Googled what to do and was confident in purchasing some toggle screws to secure the bracket and mount my shelf for our coffee mug pleasuring.

I can hear you snickering now.

Anyway, I took photos because I'm a jackass and I thought this shelf-hanging project would be easily accomplished in the span of a couple of hours, and then I could whip up a post all-cocky-like and show you how awesome I am at this house reno/decor while SAHM'ing crap. I'll let them do some of the talking for me.

The toggle bolts, claiming to hold up to 90 lbs:
And they were super easy to install -- that should have tipped me off somehow, but instead I was all congratulating myself, like I effing won some DIY Genius Award or something.

How they looked installed:
I shortly thereafter put up the bracket for the shelf, which was slightly harder than I anticipated, and then attached the damn Lack. It didn't seem very stable (at this point I'm thinking, WTF toggle bolts? WORK!) and even though I heard what sounded like paper ripping and could see the wall bubbling up a little bit, like an idiot, I left it.

And in approximately an hour, the whole kit and caboodle came crashing to the ground, sparing my coffeemaker in the process. Luckily, afraid my protruding belly would knock over some mugs or my hand mixer (and the blender vessel was in the sink because I made a smoothie for breakfast), I had moved the more fragile items from their usual perches.

Still, to say I was pissed would be ... polite. And an understatement.

So after reconciling that I'd failed my simple task, I was then pissed to find out that the little drywall handsaw I thought we owned was actually my mom's and she had taken it back to her house. I was now left to cut away drywall FROM THE WALL with ... a utility knife.

I'm still shocked I didn't hurt myself.

Here's a pic of removing one damaged piece:
I realized it would be easier to repair to just bite the bullet and cut out a huge gaping hole and try to fix that rather than fix little holes. Plus, there was nothing behind the drywall to mount new drywall to, so I had to improvise AGAIN.

This is how you end up rifling through the piles of old lumber in your basement that you told your husband not to throw away because you might need it. And while you have a small victory in that regard, you're still pissed to hell that you're digging for something to fix what should have been an easy project, BUT WASN'T.

Luckily, I found pieces to brace and build up the wall pretty perfectly, and I made the choice to go ahead and reinforce this part of the wall because I WILL HANG THAT MOTHEREFFING LACK THERE SO HELP ME GOD I WILL NOT LET SOME SWISS PARTICLE BOARD AND LAMINATE GET THE BEST OF ME.

So here's one reinforcement:
And the other:
Notice how the lighting is getting crappier throughout these photos. It's because it took me ALL DAY, and let me remind you that I had the CRABBIEST one-year-old getting into all kinds of trouble and just generally being in a shitty mood while I panicked and tried to get this as fixed as possible before Kyle came home. So sure, this patch job might have taken a regular person like, two hours, but it was taking me all afternoon. It probably also didn't help that it went from sunny to about to rain throughout the day. But it was in the sixties, so I can't complain too much. Rain is better than snow, for sure.

I eventually rifle through our scraps of drywall to find pieces to fit in the holes, and I manage to get those up and tape the edges (and clean up the ginormous mess the whole shitshow made) before Kyle gets home. At that point, I was spent for the day. Screaming baby, falling shelves, using improper and dangerous tools to fix your own mistake -- it was all getting to be too much to bear. So this is how it stayed for the rest of the night last Tuesday.
My goal, after all's said and patched, is to get that godforsaken shelf up so we have a place for our coffee cups.

And then I'm never buying a Lack shelf AGAIN, I don't care how awesome they seem.

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